


The Games We Play

by Nebbles



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Engagement, Fluff, Kisses, M/M, Political Drama, Rarepair, Sneaking Around, what more could you guys want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22140907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: Balancing one's work and love is a difficult task, Lorenz finds, but one quite worth it all in the end.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir & Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, Ferdinand von Aegir/Lorenz Hellman Gloucester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	The Games We Play

Politics was something Lorenz knew like the back of his hand, the ins and outs, all its idiosyncrasies. To be thrown into them after the war hardly came as a surprise, given the Alliance lands were his now. Claude had left Fódlan to pursue his own dreams, entrusting Lorenz with the task of leading it well. With his father removed from power, he had quite a mess to clean up. Apologies to families -- Raphael’s, especially -- he hurt, assisting commonfolk and their ilk, ensuring merchant routes were open… day after day, did he find himself in the middle of it all.

It wasn't a bad thing, of course. He was more than happy to better these lands, undoing the scars his father wrought. Reputations did tend to stick around, and others expected him to follow suit, once word had finally spread. However, Lorenz wanted to ensure that he would do better. He'd seen much of the world through new eyes, and did not wish to blind himself once more. He was no longer a fool, and did not wish to be seen as one.

He could recall himself at a younger age, sitting next to his father, listening to all the adults prattle on and on as if they were aware of every nuance in the world. Lorenz couldn’t help but wonder if they had dared to step a foot outside their territories or seen the world beyond the Alliance. Those men sure enjoyed hearing themselves speak, didn’t they? Time seemed to have hardly affected such a matter, considering all these meetings consisted of nothing but senseless prattle. To think he once thought his father’s words were absolute… how appalling. 

As always, as if on routine, infighting within the Alliance carried on. Fódlan's unification started such matters, given it wasn’t an idea all were fond of, and his insistence on the assistance of a certain individual did not help such matters.

"Why should one of the Empire help the Alliance make any decisions?" came a voice, exasperated as a hand gestured towards Ferdinand. "It was his country that started the war! His Emperor that nearly destroyed our lands!"

Saints, all these voices sounded the same. Yelling of the same matter, how Ferdinand hardly belonged here, how he should have never been invited in the first place. It was growing difficult to differentiate them all, their voices and opinions all bleeding into one another. 

"I would say you have a point, but is Ferdinand the late Emperor Edelgard?" Lorenz placed his hands on the table, leaning forward. "Does he carry her exact ideals, her exact thoughts and words? He is his own person, and he offered his assistance in reparations. With Gloucester territory adjacent to the Empire as well, it would be rude of us to reject such generosity."

If he had learned anything from these past years, it was that one's origins mattered little to who they were as a person. Their own merits carried above all else, and their actions just as well. Ferdinand had joined Faerghus because he simply did not agree with Edelgard's war. It was not the future he sought for Fódlan, and forged a path of his own. Once his eyes had been opened, Lorenz found himself supporting the Kingdom by his side.

"I am sure you are aware he is the only noble family left that wishes to tarry in political affairs. House Varley has withdrawn from all matters, and the heirs to House Bergliez and House Hevring have perhaps left the very continent." He stared the other down, furrowing his brow. "The former Kingdom of Faerghus has their own reparations to concern themselves with. I am sure King Dimitri would offer his insights as well, were he not busy."

By the Goddess, was the unification of Fódlan nothing but a headache. Lorenz could perhaps follow the logic of it at all, but it only made the round table that much more of an annoyance.

The mudslinging was inevitable, another thing Lorenz found himself quite unhappy with. It hardly surprised him, and Ferdinand’s expression remained neutral through it all, but this was not something he needed to hear. And perhaps it was a fool’s errand to hope post-war talks would hold an iota of peace, but this level of rudeness was not to be tolerated.

“And furthermore,” he continued, the table silent as all eyes were upon him, “I will not sit here and listen to my friend’s name be slandered. I am not my father, and Ferdinand is not his own as well. We wish nothing more than to fix the scars this war left, and we seek to further the future of the lands we fought to protect. Have I made myself clear?”

“You say you are not your father, and yet you’ve invited a man from enemy territory into our lands.” Lorenz didn’t even bother to care who this quip came from. 

“I am aware of where Ferdinand hails from.” Lorenz kept his tone calm, despite the fact his knuckles were turning white from gripping the table.

“Who is to say this is naught but a farce? That he is trying to continue what the late Emperor and her advisor could not finish?” Rather relentless, weren’t they? These men were testing his patience.

Lorenz’s gaze flickered to Ferdinand, who was still as ever. He does not need a change of expression to know how those words cut deep. 

“I would hope you would trust me with such matters.” Lorenz took in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Patience. Losing his temper would not help the cause. “I assure you that I still have the Alliance’s future in my mind, despite the oncoming unification. If we are to be one nation once more, why not befriend our neighbors? Why must we assume such unfavorable things about them because of the war? Not every denizen of Adrestia wished for conquest.”

“If the Alliance had lost this war, would you say the same things about him?” 

“Without a doubt.” Lorenz turned to focus on Ferdinand. “First and foremost, he is an ally and my friend. I would never let such factors ruin that. We swore to accomplish great feats together, and I refuse to rescind my word upon such matters.”

Lorenz wasn’t sure what stung further: the dirty looks Ferdinand received, or the fact he kept trying to smile through it all. Beautiful as that smile was, it did little to mask the cracks forming in his heart.

\-------

Even as a child, Ferdinand considered his relentless optimism one of his finest traits. It carried him through the war, even when the world had turned against him and began to crumble. It carried him through the deaths of those he still dared to consider his friends, despite leaving the Empire behind. He still loved his country, no matter what, even if perhaps he was the only person to still do so. It carried him now, with Lorenz taking accusation after accusation all in his defense.

Was it guilt he felt? Perhaps not -- he knew Lorenz promised to do whatever was possible for Aegir territory. It was a promise they made between shared whispers in the night, cocooned in safety, the war unable to have them it its grasp. Ferdinand knew there was little he could do, having to both restore his territory and assist the Empire, and yet sitting here in silence was becoming less of an option. 

Lorenz did not have to shoulder this burden alone.

“I am aware my presence here is unwanted at best.” Slowly, he stood, watching Lorenz’s expression the entire time. “However, I want to assure you that I have no ill intent towards the Alliance and the unification of Fódlan. While my heart remains in Aegir territory… I cannot simply ignore the world outside of me. I wish to help, in any way I can.”

As expected, an uproar breaks out as a flurry of questions make their way towards Ferdinand.

“And how can we trust you? Why does Lorenz seek your counsel above all others?”

“It seems rather convenient you’re here for every meeting of ours! You don’t hail from the Alliance -- why are you even here?”

“Why does Lorenz let you sit in on these, anyway? These matters should not be for your ears, especially if you happen to still be Imperial filth.”

Oh, if only they knew.

A wince is hidden behind a somewhat forced smile. Ah, that name wasn’t new to him. “I assure you, my heart would hate to betray the lands that my friend is trying to help flourish. It would be hardly noble to do so.”

“Hah! Such fancy speech -- can your actions match up to them? I will believe you are an ally when I see the Empire directly assist with reparations.”

“I am doing what I can. Without an Emperor, we are still struggling with being able to allocate our resources.” These people hated him. Ferdinand did not have to lie to himself. “It is difficult, but I will not back down in my efforts.”

A few murmurs -- more mudslinging, Ferdinand presumed -- made their way throughout the room. But he was alright. He could take this, as long as Lorenz’s name was not dirtied. He could tell the other was exhausted though, as well as himself. It had been a harrowing morning so far, and meetings like these, which often devolved into arguments, continued late into the evening.

“I am not ashamed of where I came from.” Ferdinand placed a hand over his heart. “The war was terrible, and many lives were lost in those years. I know my actions will not make up for every death, nor for every hardship the Alliance and the Kingdom faced. The only thing I am ashamed of is that I could not have prevented such conflict.”

He was supposed to lead Edelgard well, was he not? To advise her if she stepped out of line, to challenge her if he did not think her ideas would better Fódlan. This war was hardly his fault, but he was aware of what words people would wish to hear. 

More whispers filled the air. A few caught his ears, something of how he was some noble whose territory was stripped from him, how his father was hardy a reputable man, all jabs Ferdinand had heard before.

Oh, how he was tired. But he could not show it, not now, not when he had to keep a brave face. 

Ferdinand von Aegir refused to lose his noble heart. Not when his pride was on the line, nor the pride of his love. He was blessed not to have to face the future alone, to have someone to continue to grow by. This was something he refused to let slip through his fingers.

“Say what you will about me. But my resolve will not waver. I will continue to support the Alliance in the years to come.” With that, Ferdinand took his seat.

Arguing continued until Lorenz called for a recess, stating this matter can be discussed further tomorrow, preferably without arguing. It took time for the room to begin to empty, and Ferdinand allowed his head to drop into his hands.

\---

“Geez,” Hilda snorted, crossing her arms as others filtered out of the room, “I’m almost sorry I stuck around for that. I wanted to come and see Ferdinand, not… that.”

“Do not worry yourself, Hilda. I am glad you and Marianne attended this meeting, even if you saw the uglier sides that politics tends to have.” Poor girls had no chance of overtalking their fathers. “Ferdinand is fine. Do not concern yourself.”

“Aw, come on…” She looked around to make sure the room was fairly empty, “you’re fooling every stuffy noble in this place, but I know you two are together! I’m checking up on my favorite couple!”   
  
“Hilda, I thought you were past the age of manipulating others for information.” It’s harmless, and he was rather glad to have her support. He still rather not risk others finding out, however. Only their friends were privy such things. 

His love for Ferdinand was enough to carry him through the headaches these meetings caused, and much as he wished to make their relationship known, it would do nothing but kindle the flames that ran under them both. 

“Oh, how rude! You’re hurting my feelings.” Hilda lightly jabbed his shoulder. “I know you two have it hard. I want you two to be happy, and I just wish I could help.”

“You could knock some sense into those fools,” Lorenz mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose, “and I’m rather positive Holst would encourage such behavior.” 

Hilda was terrifyingly strong, after all. It still managed to catch him by surprise at times. 

“I would enjoy it more if I could plan for a wedding,” she whispered in a sing-song tone, “I can already envision how cute you two would look! Oh, the accessories I could make, and the flowers you would pick…” 

“When the time comes, Hilda, I will ask you above all else. Do not doubt that.” Though, he would also appreciate Ignatz’s aesthetic eye once the chance arose. “I trust you and Marianne will plan something wonderful.”

She smiled broadly, a proud look in her eyes. “You know I will. Take care of each other, okay? Ferdinand looked like he was ready to collapse in there.” 

A soft, almost tired sigh left his lips. “I am fortunate to have pushed the rest of the meeting tomorrow. I will ensure we both get proper amounts of rest.”

Hilda responded with a raised brow, and a small smirk on her lips.

“Hilda, you know that is not what I am insinuating--!” Goddess, she’s already made her way back to Marianne, the last word hers. How untoward of her! Regardless of what she meant, one thing rang true: he needed to ensure Ferdinand was alright.

It pained him to see how lost the other man looked, how he could see the flickering of pain in his eyes as each insult threatened to scar his heart. 

Lorenz approached the other, silently offering out his hand. When Ferdinand looked up at him, he slowly took it, linking his fingers with Lorenz’s. 

“Let’s take a break, Ferdinand.”

\--

Once they were away from prying eyes, safe in Lorenz’s quarters, he pressed a gentle kiss against Ferdinand’s lips.

  
“Forgive me for asking something perhaps so obvious, but how are you faring?” He wrapped his arms around Ferdinand’s waist, touching their foreheads. “I should have expected such behavior from them. I apologize for their words, for dragging your name through the mud as they did.”

“It is nothing.” His smile -- that seemed barely there and honest -- made Lorenz think otherwise. “I expected it, Lorenz. Why would they be friendly towards me? I am not foolish enough to think no one holds ill sentiments towards the Empire.”

Lorenz pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips next. “That is still no excuse for how they treated you. I invited you here as a guest of the Alliance. You should be regarded with respect.” 

“But these are your lands, are they not?” Ferdinand was at least responding to each touch, which was something of a relief. “Your reputation means more here. I do not want your people to hate you.”

“Ferdinand…” Goddess, this man’s heart was incredible. “As much as I understand your perspective, I refuse to idly sit by and watch you take insult after insult. I swore to overcome any challenge by your side, did I not? We stated that together, there was nothing that we could not accomplish.”

“I do recall such a promise, yes.” Ferdinand rested his head against Lorenz’s shoulder, eyes drifting to the ring on his finger. “And I remember when you repeated those sentiments when you proposed to me.”

Lorenz’s lips met the back of his hand, and then trailed to said ring. “I wish for nothing more than to marry you. I know one cannot rush politics, especially when they tend to be rather fragile. But once the air settles, we will have the most grand ceremony imaginable.”

“It will be quite a wait, yes. But I know it shall be worth it.” Ferdinand sounded tired still, and Lorenz wished to do nothing more but ease the aching in his heart.

Slowly, Lorenz began to sway softly in place, making sure Ferdinand followed his movements. It’d been a long day for them both already, and it had been quite a while since the two had gone dancing. Furthermore, this would help calm them down. A soft melody filled the space between them as Ferdinand began to hum, content to still rest against Lorenz’s shoulder. To hear his voice was something Lorenz could always fall back upon for its comforts. Not only did his voice house beauty unparalleled to no other, these songs were for him and no one else. 

How silly it was to think of the ball the academy held all those years ago, and how nice would it have been to take Ferdinand. They’ve been able to grace the finest dance halls since then, and yet Lorenz wondered what wish they would have made at the Goddess Tower. Could they afford such a trip, to take Ferdinand back there to make a vow… he would truly love nothing more. 

Oh, how Lorenz’s heart threatened to melt on the spot when Ferdinand began to sing. It was one of the many love songs he knew, one they had listened to when they were able to sneak away to the local opera house. It also let him know that as always, that radiance his sun carried would continue to shine through, no matter the circumstance. 

He did not dare to interrupt him, however. Lorenz rested his head against Ferdinand’s, eyes shut in bliss as their song continued to play. To be wrapped up in Ferdinand’s arms forever was a fate he did not expect, but one Lorenz was happy for.

Quite often did it feel as though it was them against the world. Even if they were not the only ones dealing with struggles, which Lorenz was sure of, he enjoyed focusing on them and ensuring their happiness. While the others did matter, perhaps it was alright to allow such selfishness. 

“May I lead, my rose?” The singing is stopped for only a moment as Ferdinand’s warm eyes meet Lorenz’s. 

“You may, my sun.” With their nicknames exchanged, Ferdinand’s hand rested upon his waist as his other intertwined with Lorenz’s. “I must thank you for always being there in my moments of weakness.”

“Think nothing of it.” It was his duty to be by Ferdinand’s side throughout the good and the bad, wasn’t it? 

“Even so, when I asked you to stay by my side, and help me achieve all I have wanted to…” Ferdinand leaned up to touch his forehead to Lorenz’s. “There is still so much more I have to do, Lorenz. And I know how busy you are, and how much you are working to keep both myself and the Alliance at ease. I cannot rely on you for everything, especially when I am back at the Empire. I know this, and yet…”

“You have achieved much.” Ferdinand almost sounded lost again, as he did often at the monastery during the war. “I assure you, even if it does not feel as such, you are doing wonderfully. You should not cast such doubt upon yourself.”

“My apologies. I am trying to believe in myself more.” He continued their dance, not breaking eye contact. “And I want to do more than just restore Aegir territory. I want to help benefit all that I can.”

“And you will achieve your goals. I know that. But please, Ferdinand, do allow yourself luxuries such as these.” With that, Lorenz placed a gentle kiss upon his lips. “I want us to enjoy our time together, whether it be here or in the gardens. I want to see your brilliant smile, to shine radiantly as you have done many times in the past.”

“I must continue to earn the honor of being called your sun,” Ferdinand returned the kiss, and then gave a few more to Lorenz’s cheeks, “and you know I will always smile for you.”

“I’m glad to hear such words.” Lorenz could almost propose once more during such a tender moment. “I adore your smile so.” 

“If I may ask, Lorenz…” Ferdinand glanced quickly to the ring once more. “What made you realize I was the one? Despite all we spoke of before, hailing from both the Empire and the Alliance, and all the walls we must overcome to simply marry?”

“I had spent much of my life listening to my father,” he began, giving Ferdinand’s hand a squeeze, “to what he wanted for me, to find a perfect wife to marry and to pass my Crest onto. And I had learned much at the Officers Academy, how I should not live my life dictated by such rules, and that my own happiness was more prudent than my title. I was foolish to let him influence me as such, and once I began to see the world with my own eyes, I knew what I desired mattered more.”

“And when we met after I had allied myself with the professor once more, I began to realize that you were more than a man I could discuss nobility and tea with. You went from a dear friend to the one I began to love, and no longer did I wish to deny myself the right to my own happiness.” His father could bristle with all the rage in the world at their engagement, and little would Lorenz care. “And we are entering a new age, Ferdinand. Despite where we came from, we should be able to marry. I wish to call you my husband more than words can say.”

A soft noise emanated from Ferdinand’s throat as he buried his head into Lorenz’s shoulder. 

“I cannot wait until the day where we can wake up by each other’s side every morning.” He’s taken the lead back for this dance of theirs. “You look absolutely stunning in the soft rays of the morning sun, though I am sure you’re quite aware of that.”

“You are going to make me cry again, you know.” Ferdinand’s voice was slightly muffled. “I feel as though I am seeing you down on one knee in the gardens I have grown to love.” 

There was hardly a more perfect place Lorenz could think of to propose in, really. When Ferdinand had first came to the Gloucester estate, they spent much time in the gardens, whether it was taking walks or enjoying tea together. They would enjoy seeing the many colors of roses together, and often would Ferdinand say that Lorenz was the most beautiful one of them all.

“I’m simply stating the truth. This is happiness we both deserve, and it is important to remind you during these moments.” Lorenz always considered himself something of a romantic, given all the poetry he was fond of writing. Ferdinand brought out this side of him much more than he originally expected, but given how in love the pair were, he hardly cared. Ferdinand was worthy of every sweet nothing he could whisper.

“I have said this before, but I never imagined this was our future. To think a marriage would come from simple meetings for tea…” Lorenz felt Ferdinand’s lips ghost up his neck, tracing up to his jaw. “To think we would have to continue to sneak around like this as well…”

“Such a scandal.” Lorenz gave a soft laugh, warming further under Ferdinand’s kisses. “What would the others say, knowing two  _ nobles _ such as ourselves are sneaking around at such hours?”

Ferdinand’s laughter began to fill the room in response to such a comment. Lorenz couldn’t help but feel proud of himself for that, given how ridiculous it was that people would make such a fuss over their relationship. While their friends were nothing but happy for them, and gave their support, Lorenz was sure others wouldn’t be so eager to offer their support. 

“What scandalous nobles we are,” Ferdinand pressed a few more kisses against Lorenz, “daring to dance and kiss like so after a heated political meeting.” More laughter bubbled in his throat, unable to keep a straight face. “Why, all of Fódlan would speak of our actions!”

“However would we deal with such words?” Lorenz felt so renewed in their shared laughter, glad the dour mood from earlier had been cast into the winds. “We would simply have to endure it together, Ferdinand. How awful.”

The pair continued to exchange soft laughter and kisses, the thought of further meetings swept away to the corner of their minds. It’d be well worth it in the end to come out stronger, and finally be able to announce their love to all of Fódlan. A grand marriage ceremony and reception, perhaps open to all, would be spoken of to generations to come.

It would be a long road to such a future, but one absolutely worth walking towards.


End file.
